i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
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She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
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I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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