I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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