I will die if light touches me.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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