Texts From Last Night

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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.

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  (859): Your vagina is a self cleaning oven. http://tfl.nu/z5bn
  Replies (11) Good night (914) Bad night (466) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god

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  (304): Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god http://tfl.nu/7ezr
  Replies (21) Good night (6228) Bad night (673) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.

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  (301): he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party. http://tfl.nu/uacy
  Replies (15) Good night (3884) Bad night (1060) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk

  (1-914): View more from New York

  It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you

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  (914): Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk (1-914): It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you http://tfl.nu/bgwq
  Replies (55) Good night (8518) Bad night (718) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  Good morning to you

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  (203): Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday? (1-203): Good morning to you http://tfl.nu/rc7c
  Replies (12) Good night (4779) Bad night (2034) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.

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  (206): I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time. http://tfl.nu/0r8g
  Replies (16) Good night (2370) Bad night (3204) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.

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  (206): and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment. http://tfl.nu/jfbz
  Replies (4) Good night (993) Bad night (2518) Order T-Shirt
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle

  (648): View more from

  Since when is drunk an angle?

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  (319): He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle (648): Since when is drunk an angle? http://tfl.nu/dhcr
  Replies (12) Good night (7074) Bad night (774)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.

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  (706): just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was. http://tfl.nu/tfbm
  Replies (5) Good night (581) Bad night (1664) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.

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  (512): No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies. http://tfl.nu/7qkv
  Replies (17) Good night (1898) Bad night (692) Order T-Shirt
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.

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  (902): Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him. http://tfl.nu/rtyn
  Replies (12) Good night (613) Bad night (1810)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it

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  (215): It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it http://tfl.nu/0xgu
  Replies (9) Good night (1672) Bad night (626)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.

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  (260): Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given. http://tfl.nu/4cnf
  Replies (9) Good night (1753) Bad night (364) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again

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  (773): my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again http://tfl.nu/3fhf
  Replies (3) Good night (290) Bad night (521) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...

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  (+44): I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt... http://tfl.nu/1ly3
  Replies (1) Good night (502) Bad night (449) Order T-Shirt

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