Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
Randomize