I think im going to throw up on grandma
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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