After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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