Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
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