**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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