I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
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