I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
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