Can Purell be used as lube?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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