Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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