Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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