even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
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Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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