just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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