The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize