And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
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I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
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You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
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