I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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