is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
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I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
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You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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