when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
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