Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize