so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
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I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
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Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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