I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize