i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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