you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize