these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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