oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize