you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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