In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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