When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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