RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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