sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize