My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize