Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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