I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
The uberlube is also flammable
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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