Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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