this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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