Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize