i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
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Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
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He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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