we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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