who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize