I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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