So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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