No subtext here. People are naked.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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