return my video game
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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