Swine flu. Run for my life!
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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