i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize