Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize