Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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